5/13/02

I was awoken by betty, she picks me up in the morning to go to school since i have no bus, well i decided i didnt wanna wake up, i guess i didnt feel so hot after the weekend, well since tihs is my first posting of the diary i should probally explain my weekend

Friday night: i wanted moonpies and weed, pretty bad, so i asked my mom to take me to eau claire, and she had said she was already planning on going there, so we went home for about an hour and waited for a phone call, when we got it from my brother mike, we were off to eau claire, but not before i grabbed myself a cherry faygo, then we went there, and since we had a while to waste we went on my hunt for moonpies, since they dont sell them in this town, and me and my stoner homies had a craving, so we went to rons castle foods first, nothing was there, although i did get a nice free sample of blueberry ice cream, i love blue... not sure why i didnt before.. oh well

next stop, since this was my old hometown i knew it fairly well, i realized there was a bakery near the downtown area, its a pretty small bakery, and i went up their and asked the lady and she said the has them somtimes, however not today, i was like FUCK!!!!!!

so then i went in the truck and had a smoke with my mom, anyhow there was one more bakery on london road, i had a good feeling about it, my mom she was just begening to think i was insane,

i went in there, jumped near the lady who was working and said " hey ya got any moonpies"and she told me, we have them in boxes, well i almost had an orgasm at that point, i mean i could have jumped her bones for those words, i looked over and their was two different flavours, however i just took the last two chocolate ones, next time i will get vanilla

now it was time to go to goodyear, thats a mechanic shop i guess, pretty mainstream.. they ripped my bro off on his car. him and his friend took it in for an oil change, and it came out broken as fuck, he refuses to pay the bills considering that he drove it in perfectly, now all of a sudden it is broken,

me and my mom had about a half hour to waste, so we starting talking bout capitalism, and how much i hate it, i told her goodyear was a perfect example of this.. they dont care about the fate of their car, as long as they get paid, they wont help out a fellow citizen knowing that the car came in fine, this is a pure example of the greed that these sick human beings posess

now one thing you will learn about me, is i will lean over backwards for anyone, if you support the revolution, or are into a good cause that i think it good, i will help you more than anybody else would, i normally do this by building websites for othe organizations however thats not the point.. lets continue

i guess they didnt have enough money for a tow truck, so my mom decided to do it in an S-150, after this day maybe you will learn that all an S-150 is, is a station wagon without the back

anywayz they were tying the rope and shit to the bottom of the caddilac and the truck, and this took a while so i had a smoke, and went over to hardees to grab a bite

came back and my bro was driving the grandam to the old goodwill parking lot, next to the goodyear, or so behind it.. it dont fucking matter.. behind left right.. its all a point of perspective i say

i went in the back of the caddilac which was being towed with my brother, .. he was stearing.. you have not had fear.. until you went in the back of a caddalic knowing that IT HAS NO BRAKES EITHER!!!, oh yes they tell me this a couple miles down the road

now that aint the ending of that story, the shifting in between time, was bad enough, then she went down a big turny hill onto the BUSIEST ROAD IN THE TOWN!!

a 4 lane highway, busiest time of the day, right by a bridge.. and we were on a hill that went like a ramp, well here comes the kicker

luckil we were at the top of the hill and at a stop light, my heart was really racing at that point.. and we werent even almost there,

got to the trailor court and the line broke yet again, so me and my bro decided to push it, then all of a sudden here comes my mom with the truck and pushes it with that leaving my fat ass running down the fucking road, it was horrible,

i went there and then i saw her.. please people excuse me here, well she opened the door and well there she was, anyhow, she told me that johnson was at the high school and was expecting me there, so i walked down there, then i ran into this guy, he was selling some shit, so i gave him 80 bucks, didnt get it, but they said they would return the money monday when i met them up in school, so its all cool, plus i am against capitalism, which means the greed of money, so i aint worried

anywayz walked up there to get johnson, and he had informed me people wanted to kick his ass, now nobody but nobody kicks my membes asses, it just aint gonna happen

well got back to rachels, and her dad had invited me in, cuz ya know rachel said me, and yeah, so i came in, sat down, have to admit i just met the guy, he looked pretty tough, so i was nervous as hell but i got over it, i comfort easily i guess,

for some reason i cant around her, i get nervous, about what to say, probally cuz i dont know what her agenda is at all, i dont know if she is into politics, and if she is, what if she is a patriot, and dont want to have the socialist, anarchist, and revolutionary ideas i have?

next she might discover how big of a loser i actually am, I admit to not being the coolest person, and have told her this i believe

well point being, she wanted josh gone i guess, so i paid him 20 bucks, its not like she told me to, but i figured i will do her a favour, since i liked her

well it was midnight, and after meeting her dad's friends.. i felt that i might be able to fit in.. since they seemed to be as insane as me, however i didnt want to act like i was welcome on the first day i met her daddyo, so like i said it was midnight, and i had to jet over to monicas to crash,

so i walked back to rachels and watched some of this show on mtv. called uh.. " dismissed" it was pretty interesting watching how people's egos can go overboard just because of the fact that they have a camera, and you would think that t.v would ban this kind of show considering that they could end up having a remarkably suicidle guy on it, and he will get dismissed and blow off his fucking head, but oh well, lets forget about the sake of one man's life for a corporate sponser eh?

well rachel went to sleep, now another thing you are gonna learn about me people, i like watching women sleep, no not perverted, its just the idea that for once a day you are at ease, with no problems in the world, nobody can hurt you in your sleep, nobody can make you cry in your sleep, its so comforting knowing that she was okay for that period of time

well then i went to hit the hay as well, woke up at about 10, and rachel did one thing for me that no girl has ever done for me before, MADE ME BREAKFAST!! wow, holy shit, lol, i couldnt believe it, an actual breakfast? jeni would have never allowed that one, she would have probally had me do it, then throw the eggs at my fucking forehead.

well she wanted some alone time i guess. or in other words " shower" as the women call it, however i understood, i was taking up space, so i wondered over to mikes, he lives next door, i met him once before when he came over to my pad, he was with johnson, he seemed pretty cool, however i walk in and what song do i hear? that stupid fucking ludicris song, oh whats it called oh well i heard the song enough so i know some of the lyrics i believe it goes like this

well point being, i dont like rap, maybe its because i live in a trailor, agree with the basic concept of police force, and do not beat the shit out of people cuz i got ripped off on a drug deal, no wait maybe its cuz i am a white peice of shit who lives a trailor and designs websites?

oh well i am into rage against the machine, metallica, soundgarden, marilyn manson, nine inch nails, thats just the ones i happen to be listening to at the moment so back down

anyhow we went back to rachels, and yes she did not take a shower yet, alone time takes a while my peoplez, well point being didnt see her for the rest of the day, me and mike decided to go over to monicas instead, spent some time there, mike seemed to be getting playful with her little sister felicia, well i guess monicas mom " god" was a bit angry about monica doing some shit that i wont mention on this website, well monica was crying in her room, tryed to cheer her up, then she asked if she could crash at my pad, i said sure as long as god was cool with it,

god wasnt cool with it, matter of fact.. it was a flat out no.. monica seemed to disagree.. and then here comes round one, the fight begins, screaming so loud that your ear drumbs would pop off, well i get very scared, i am not afraid to admit this, i am a fragile person.. and when i see two of my friends fighting get scared.. really i do, monica and god have been friend with me for a good year now

well monica stormed out of the house, and i havent seen her since,..not even sure where she is.. so im really worried.. mike said that he found johnsons.. watch.. i thought josh was dead cuz of this, since we called his house and he wasnt there,... i was like fuck.. damn.. shit..

well after monica stormed out, i sorta.. snuck out myself, then my moms truck came, so i jumped in .. cranked disturbed and ran off,. yes it was that disturbed song i liked so much from the queen of the damned soundtrack, got home and found the worst news,

i dont see why she had to run off, she just got out of foster home anyhow,. but of course i guess she doesnt consider me as much of a friend as i thought due to not consulting me on this matter.. or asking my advise before jumping the gun.. please people dont let this happen to you

i reached into my drawer and found a note from my x girlfriend michelle.. she had sent it to me in the mail, i read the back of it.. it was her telling me how much she loved and cared about me, then i read the part about little stickers and it told me to wear them, for those of you who may be confused this is a note she sent when we were together.. not recently

so i put the little heart sticker on my head, it is there as i am writing this. not sure when i wanna take it off.. it just reminds me.. that i may never find the comfort again that i had when i was with her


	Jesus Peterson \| home tiny little midgets want me dead \| diary \| 5/13/02 \| Sins \| Picture of the un american me \| basics 5/13/02 I was awoken by betty, she picks me up in the morning to go to school since i have no bus, well i decided i didnt wanna wake up, i guess i didnt feel so hot after the weekend, well since tihs is my first posting of the diary i should probally explain my weekend Friday night: i wanted moonpies and weed, pretty bad, so i asked my mom to take me to eau claire, and she had said she was already planning on going there, so we went home for about an hour and waited for a phone call, when we got it from my brother mike, we were off to eau claire, but not before i grabbed myself a cherry faygo, then we went there, and since we had a while to waste we went on my hunt for moonpies, since they dont sell them in this town, and me and my stoner homies had a craving, so we went to rons castle foods first, nothing was there, although i did get a nice free sample of blueberry ice cream, i love blue... not sure why i didnt before.. oh well next stop, since this was my old hometown i knew it fairly well, i realized there was a bakery near the downtown area, its a pretty small bakery, and i went up their and asked the lady and she said the has them somtimes, however not today, i was like FUCK!!!!!! so then i went in the truck and had a smoke with my mom, anyhow there was one more bakery on london road, i had a good feeling about it, my mom she was just begening to think i was insane, i went in there, jumped near the lady who was working and said " hey ya got any moonpies"and she told me, we have them in boxes, well i almost had an orgasm at that point, i mean i could have jumped her bones for those words, i looked over and their was two different flavours, however i just took the last two chocolate ones, next time i will get vanilla now it was time to go to goodyear, thats a mechanic shop i guess, pretty mainstream.. they ripped my bro off on his car. him and his friend took it in for an oil change, and it came out broken as fuck, he refuses to pay the bills considering that he drove it in perfectly, now all of a sudden it is broken, me and my mom had about a half hour to waste, so we starting talking bout capitalism, and how much i hate it, i told her goodyear was a perfect example of this.. they dont care about the fate of their car, as long as they get paid, they wont help out a fellow citizen knowing that the car came in fine, this is a pure example of the greed that these sick human beings posess now one thing you will learn about me, is i will lean over backwards for anyone, if you support the revolution, or are into a good cause that i think it good, i will help you more than anybody else would, i normally do this by building websites for othe organizations however thats not the point.. lets continue my brother came in my beauty, the 1986 grand dam, oh yes.. the pimp mobile i guess they didnt have enough money for a tow truck, so my mom decided to do it in an S-150, after this day maybe you will learn that all an S-150 is, is a station wagon without the back anywayz they were tying the rope and shit to the bottom of the caddilac and the truck, and this took a while so i had a smoke, and went over to hardees to grab a bite came back and my bro was driving the grandam to the old goodwill parking lot, next to the goodyear, or so behind it.. it dont fucking matter.. behind left right.. its all a point of perspective i say i went in the back of the caddilac which was being towed with my brother, .. he was stearing.. you have not had fear.. until you went in the back of a caddalic knowing that IT HAS NO BRAKES EITHER!!!, oh yes they tell me this a couple miles down the road now that aint the ending of that story, the shifting in between time, was bad enough, then she went down a big turny hill onto the BUSIEST ROAD IN THE TOWN!! then we got on birch street.. before i will explain the road a 4 lane highway, busiest time of the day, right by a bridge.. and we were on a hill that went like a ramp, well here comes the kicker THE LINE SNAPPED!!!! luckil we were at the top of the hill and at a stop light, my heart was really racing at that point.. and we werent even almost there, then we went down the road for about a mile, then it broke again, this wasnt so bad we were on a flat road, well we got down to where he lived.. by some trailor court.. i recall being younger and being in that area for a wedding got to the trailor court and the line broke yet again, so me and my bro decided to push it, then all of a sudden here comes my mom with the truck and pushes it with that leaving my fat ass running down the fucking road, it was horrible, we finally got there and i realized johnson and rachel might be over at 8 and it was already close enough to it so we went home, and then johnson called and was like " where are you" and I'm all like " home" anyhow he said rachel and him couldnt come but i was more than welcome to come chill for a while.. so when i tryed to get my mom to go she was bitching and bitching about it even ater she took me on the Wisconsin Death Trip ( static X said it best) anywayz she did take me there, after a long bitching, it was horrible i went there and then i saw her.. please people excuse me here, well she opened the door and well there she was, anyhow, she told me that johnson was at the high school and was expecting me there, so i walked down there, then i ran into this guy, he was selling some shit, so i gave him 80 bucks, didnt get it, but they said they would return the money monday when i met them up in school, so its all cool, plus i am against capitalism, which means the greed of money, so i aint worried anywayz walked up there to get johnson, and he had informed me people wanted to kick his ass, now nobody but nobody kicks my membes asses, it just aint gonna happen well got back to rachels, and her dad had invited me in, cuz ya know rachel said me, and yeah, so i came in, sat down, have to admit i just met the guy, he looked pretty tough, so i was nervous as hell but i got over it, i comfort easily i guess, for some reason i cant around her, i get nervous, about what to say, probally cuz i dont know what her agenda is at all, i dont know if she is into politics, and if she is, what if she is a patriot, and dont want to have the socialist, anarchist, and revolutionary ideas i have? next she might discover how big of a loser i actually am, I admit to not being the coolest person, and have told her this i believe well point being, she wanted josh gone i guess, so i paid him 20 bucks, its not like she told me to, but i figured i will do her a favour, since i liked her well it was midnight, and after meeting her dad's friends.. i felt that i might be able to fit in.. since they seemed to be as insane as me, however i didnt want to act like i was welcome on the first day i met her daddyo, so like i said it was midnight, and i had to jet over to monicas to crash, well nobody answered the freaking door, and i was in my gay shorts, so i was freezing so i walked back to rachels and watched some of this show on mtv. called uh.. " dismissed" it was pretty interesting watching how people's egos can go overboard just because of the fact that they have a camera, and you would think that t.v would ban this kind of show considering that they could end up having a remarkably suicidle guy on it, and he will get dismissed and blow off his fucking head, but oh well, lets forget about the sake of one man's life for a corporate sponser eh? well rachel went to sleep, now another thing you are gonna learn about me people, i like watching women sleep, no not perverted, its just the idea that for once a day you are at ease, with no problems in the world, nobody can hurt you in your sleep, nobody can make you cry in your sleep, its so comforting knowing that she was okay for that period of time well then i went to hit the hay as well, woke up at about 10, and rachel did one thing for me that no girl has ever done for me before, MADE ME BREAKFAST!! wow, holy shit, lol, i couldnt believe it, an actual breakfast? jeni would have never allowed that one, she would have probally had me do it, then throw the eggs at my fucking forehead. well she wanted some alone time i guess. or in other words " shower" as the women call it, however i understood, i was taking up space, so i wondered over to mikes, he lives next door, i met him once before when he came over to my pad, he was with johnson, he seemed pretty cool, however i walk in and what song do i hear? that stupid fucking ludicris song, oh whats it called oh well i heard the song enough so i know some of the lyrics i believe it goes like this " i got so much money, and the drop back, i got so much money, you cant stop that?" well point being, i dont like rap, maybe its because i live in a trailor, agree with the basic concept of police force, and do not beat the shit out of people cuz i got ripped off on a drug deal, no wait maybe its cuz i am a white peice of shit who lives a trailor and designs websites? oh well i am into rage against the machine, metallica, soundgarden, marilyn manson, nine inch nails, thats just the ones i happen to be listening to at the moment so back down anyhow we went back to rachels, and yes she did not take a shower yet, alone time takes a while my peoplez, well point being didnt see her for the rest of the day, me and mike decided to go over to monicas instead, spent some time there, mike seemed to be getting playful with her little sister felicia, well i guess monicas mom " god" was a bit angry about monica doing some shit that i wont mention on this website, well monica was crying in her room, tryed to cheer her up, then she asked if she could crash at my pad, i said sure as long as god was cool with it, god wasnt cool with it, matter of fact.. it was a flat out no.. monica seemed to disagree.. and then here comes round one, the fight begins, screaming so loud that your ear drumbs would pop off, well i get very scared, i am not afraid to admit this, i am a fragile person.. and when i see two of my friends fighting get scared.. really i do, monica and god have been friend with me for a good year now well monica stormed out of the house, and i havent seen her since,..not even sure where she is.. so im really worried.. mike said that he found johnsons.. watch.. i thought josh was dead cuz of this, since we called his house and he wasnt there,... i was like fuck.. damn.. shit.. well after monica stormed out, i sorta.. snuck out myself, then my moms truck came, so i jumped in .. cranked disturbed and ran off,. yes it was that disturbed song i liked so much from the queen of the damned soundtrack, got home and found the worst news, one of the members of my organization had resigned!!! because of a fucking lie.. a goddamn lie!! i cant go into detai cuz this is of course confidential information well johnson turned up alilve, and god called me really worried about monica, i dont see why she had to run off, she just got out of foster home anyhow,. but of course i guess she doesnt consider me as much of a friend as i thought due to not consulting me on this matter.. or asking my advise before jumping the gun.. please people dont let this happen to you anyhow that was my weekend now its time to express today Today: woke up, was sick, didnt go to school, gonna get in trouble by court but oh well, got on the internet,... played some pimpwar. then the painful part i reached into my drawer and found a note from my x girlfriend michelle.. she had sent it to me in the mail, i read the back of it.. it was her telling me how much she loved and cared about me, then i read the part about little stickers and it told me to wear them, for those of you who may be confused this is a note she sent when we were together.. not recently so i put the little heart sticker on my head, it is there as i am writing this. not sure when i wanna take it off.. it just reminds me.. that i may never find the comfort again that i had when i was with her however.. i had to do it, the first thing the government takes away from a revolutionary is a girlfriend they want a revolutionary to feel pain, the hurt, they want you to break down ... i didnt want her to die.... however none of this matters now... the dream is dead my life is over this completes todays/the weekends story.. updated tomorow, l8rz- Jesus Peterson